Daunting Day Number 653642

26 August 2008

I have been rescued from a true pit of despair! So I did a lot of the rescuing myself, but I couldn’t have done it without Marc. I had to push myself to confront my mother about some things so that I would no longer be tormented by my own thoughts. Although it concerns my sisters more than I, the confrontation (in letter form) was pretty selfish. And I mean that in a healthy way.

Today I had a really good discussion with a friend. It made me appreciate or re-realize that sometimes you truly do need to hear it from someone other than yourself.

She told me that asking a smoker not to smoke would almost always be unsuccessful. I was naive to think that a stranger would stop out of respect for my request, or for me, even if it was just for a short time, even if I am pregnant. But it doesn’t change the fact that the guy was just a major asshole.

I realized too that I feel validated now. Now that I can more freely express my feelings. To my mom. To my friends.

I know, I know, nothing much of interest to say. Let’s just say I’m doing all my talking and reading on other blogs like here and here, just a couple of my favorite blogs. This post about an ICE raid in Mississippi is worth looking at. But caution: it will make you sick.

At this point in my pregnancy, hunger hits hard every couple of hours and bothers me in the middle of the night. I’m back to waking up feeling slightly nauseous (well, it’s nowhere near as bad as the first couple of months). And I haven’t not cried at night in a couple of weeks. I guess my hormones are raging, although I feel like it’s not just that, it’s everything. It’s having to be anxious about the new apartment being ready for us and of Marc’s mom asking for and then completely disregarding my wants for my baby shower. I know, my problems are really good ones to have. Sometimes I just have to talk about it to realize that and stop feeling sorry for my priveleged ass.


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